I don't even know the canon and I know that this is awful. *shudder* Thank you for killing it. Thank you thank you thank you. Also for making the killing thereof a good story.

Although...

"What else? Elphaba's just been sprayed by the water, which Galinda obviously doesn't know will hurt her - and how can that class of water shatter when it must have hit the bed on the way down?"

What's a class of water?